John The Poet Ministries

John J. Brobst

Born April 21, 1959
Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Background About The Poet

I was born into a Christian home with parents that truly cared about me and supported me. When I hit my later teen years, although I knew about God, I did not know God. I knew he existed, but my prayers were centered around rote prayers like saying The Lord's Prayer.

My Lifestyle was one of almost anything goes. I was a heavy drinker, but tried to stay away from street drugs. My "Religion" had one commandment; that is I would save myself for marriage. That was not saying much because of my openness to pornography. That openness, though a curse was what brought me to Christ.

At Christmas time of my sophomore year in college, my faith was challenged. A young man and lady came to my dorm meeting sharing about God and Jesus. I thought to myself, I already know these things and that's enough. God was opening my heart to the reality that maybe I didn't measure up. Later that evening, a group of us got together to watch unclean films. I remember someone saying jokingly, “Let's invite the Christians in here."

For the first time in my life I saw that my life was not measuring up at all. I went home that Christmas break pondering these things. It was Christmas morning. I had gone to my church's late night service. My conflict of measuring up would come to an end.

Early in the morning I was reading a book about how that it's necessary to have a clean heart to not be punished and suffer judgment. I realized the lifestyle I was living was worthy of that punishment. Then God did an amazing thing, He opened my eyes to the fact that someone had already taken my punishment, it was Jesus on the Cross. I was excited about this and called on Jesus to forgive me and cleanse me of my sins. I could almost see Jesus shedding His Blood for me. I said Thank-You and told God whatever He wanted me to do and where ever He wanted me to go I would do.

A note about God's faithfulness to free and forgive in the area of unclean thoughts. I find God answering my cry for purity as this is truly God's will. I am able to walking in more and more obedience and victory, As I truly ask for strength to say no, God is always faithful.

I did not realize that I now had an enemy and he was not excited about this gift of grace I had received. I believe that he had some thoughts that he could use against me. I had, had an interest in some occult teachings. He now tapped into some of those thoughts and used them against me.

I remember the child like joy I had on being cleansed. I also had a layer of pride that was proud about realizing this great truth about Jesus. This pride would be seized on, without recognizing an attack by the enemy.

For the first time in my life I heard an voice talking to me. This voice desired for me to do an act that he could seek to destroy my Faith. The act was not important, but I did what the voice said.

Then the voice turned on me and said; "Now you shall die." I went into panic and struggled to hang on. At this time I did not know I had a Grandfather that struggled with depression and manic thoughts.

The enemy had sown an attack that would be used against me, as I would suffer from in life. Valuable ground was taken and I still struggle with thoughts. The Good News was I now could trust God with my heart, despite my thoughts. A good verse that can explain this is Proverbs 3:5, 6, “Trust in the Lord with all thane heart and lean not unto thane own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.” This would be my hope and strength. My heart would be blessed with an ability to express God's great love and great truth. I hope you can enjoy them and find truths to encourage.

After many years of doubts and fears brought on by the enemy. God lead me to a deeper and clearer understanding of grace. I was also anxious with the feelings of panic that related to dying. I sought God at this point at my usual place at a nearby park. After meditating on my relationship with God, I called upon Him. I Asked Him if He was willing could He touch me with a healing for my great fears and doubts.

He was willing; I sensed a small voice that clearly spoke to my need. God said, “My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” The answer that truly made sense for me was God's grace.

“For by grace are you saved, through faith and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God not of works lest any man should boast.”

My gift of poetry helps me express the truth and love of Jesus. One thing my story did not tell was how important medicine and counseling has been in my life. Years ago when I was first struggling, I was helped by the medicine available for my condition. By God's grace, through the years, the medicines have gotten better with less side effects. A bible professor once told me that the bible can address 75% of our struggles. There are times where added help is needed. God blessed me with a chance to get better, even if it is by using God's created tool of medicine. One thing that is amazing is even though the thoughts and struggles are intense, when it comes to my poetry it's real. I am a member of NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). I believe in the advocacy of this group. I'm a facilitator for my local chapter. Mental illness is a greatly confused issue. By God's grace I am able to use all the tools to make my life work and make a difference in the lives of others.

An added testimony:

God has blessed me with a full assurance of faith. I had been memorizing James chapter 1. One of the verses was about being double minded. God revealed to me that I was that way. It was like I was drawn by faith and drawn by doubts. I called my Pastor and asked for help. He told me to simply trust Jesus. God opened my eyes that I was trusting in my salvation experience and my gift of poetry for my part of assurance. I was delivered from this form of legalism. Instead God gave me ability to simply Trust Christ and nothing else. I was now free to minister in faith and boldness. God's Word is truly the answer to our faith.

Blessings and Grace from John the Poet,

John J. Brobst